....a wish, a desire, a goal for something that you always wanted to do and perhaps never really thought was possible?
I do!
My one
BIG dream is to complete my degree. A goal never realised, that started way back in the 70's.
Yes, I know it's a long time ago. I've managed without a degree all these years (sometimes quite well financially, sometimes not, especially when I was living on my own at times). But it isn't just about the better-paying jobs that may have been missed along the way. Things were different back then. The job market in Canada was flourishing. Often times, I had to decide between jobs to accept and many were good-paying jobs. No, it's so much more than that.
I had been fortunate at that time, to be accepted into the
Journalism program at one of Canada's top schools for this degree:
Ryerson in Toronto. I was honored, but really didn't take it for what it was, a huge opportunity that could have had life-long benefits.
And for someone coming from the "hay-seed" Prairies of Canada (or so I felt about
Saskatchewan at the time) to the publishing center of Canada and the BIG city (yes, I was the only Saskatchewan student in my classes!) it was heady stuff indeed.
At 18, I thought I knew it all and would conquer all. Can you relate?
Well, as the saying goes, life happens...I won't bore you with all the details. Suffice to say, my parents were furious with me when in my second semester (and coasting along with a 75-80% average with no problem) I decided to throw in the towel/degree for several reasons that I thought were valid, with the intention to go back to school after a year or two off. That never happened.
I got married (for the first time) and my husband fell in love with the Prairies and wanted to live there permanently. He was from Ontario and found the change to a slower pace etc... refreshing. For me, it became more and more obvious that I had made a very big mistake, leaving school and all that course of action would have meant. But I lived with it and didn't do anything about rectifying my feelings of failure in other ways. After all,
Ryerson and
Toronto weren't the only places I could go to school. I didn't see it that way at the time, or for a long time.
So, here I am...all these years later with a dream to get that degree. It won't be in
Journalism now, I'd like to pursue
Art History as a major, one of my passions for a long, long time. I am still trying to work my way through the maze of online options and perhaps will combine these with a real classroom setting somewhere, depending on where we move (yes, that's something in the works too). So much to consider. The good news, I've been advised that as a mature student, I will be allowed credit for life skills, work history, even my past enrollment at Ryerson counts. So that's all good. But still, it's daunting in so many ways.
But the time to hesitate and debate is long over. If I am ever going to put a check mark beside this big "to do" on my life-list, it's got to be soon.
To quote one of my own favorite quotes:
"the best way to begin, is, to begin."
And as my wise and dear friend
Sandy Carlson said recently in a comment here:
"I wouldn't turn the clock back for anything. I like to believe (and hope) that I've made my biggest mistakes and can start getting things right."
Here, here
Sandy!!! I couldn't agree more.
Do you have one really BIG dream that you still want to see come true? One that you perhaps thought was now unattainable but still, it lurks in the back of your mind?
Do share. I would appreciate the inspiration.
To be honest,
I am scared of failing... really really scared. That's part of all the years of delay and procrastination. At the same time, I know I have to do this and want to try to make this one big dream still come true.
Wish me luck!!!
